To be Laid or To be Known

So how was the long awaited Valentine’s day? You got engaged? Or perhaps you renewed your vows with your spouse? Ooops!!! maybe you actually got a new boy or girlfriend? Awwww I’m sure some got broken hearted though. My first broken heart was on 15th February 2004……sobs, sobs….hehehehe!! And how many of you cheated? Yikes!!! So could you go on that blind date? Or just like I did, you were home sleeping and eating. Hehehe!!!


No matter how the day went, it is past with memories that would last or fade. It is gone with events that will give us perpetual joy or continuous pain in life. I am sure many young people experiment very deeply with sex on that day; with some having sex for the first time. Hmmm!!

I still want to talk about sex because I realised that, many problems rearing its head amongst the youth today, are resulting from that. First of all, I would like to congratulate those of us who keep to being chaste; whether never been involved in premarital sex or made a decision to hold on to the rest. Congratulations because it is never easy. This same Yaa who speaks against premarital sex is the same person who will argue with a 80 year old woman lashing at someone. Controversy? Confused? Hahaha!

OK let me explain it further. In the past, our grandparents and some parents got married so early. A girl got married once she entered adolescent age and had her menses and a guy only had to only have just a farm land and usually also very young. Thus, our grandparents never really had to go through a long phase before starting a family. Thus, say I got married at the age of 27 and lost my virginity at the age of 25 years and then, I have this old lady reprimanding me that in their age the women married as virgins, blah, blah!! I kinda feel awkward about it. I mean she got married at 17 years and at that age I was very innocent too. How sure is she that she could have maintained that virginity till then age of even 25. The same goes for the men who got married sometimes as teenagers or young adults.

All I’m trying to say is, being chaste is not an easy decision especially as you grow older and it gets to a time your body starts just reacting to things without even asking permission from you. SMH!! Because I want to be real and encourage everyone that what you go through is normal, I am going to share this personal embarrassing story.

About 3 years ago I was very busy as usual, working in the laboratory towards my degree. Then I began to feel heavy wetness in my pantie and I started getting upset. Not again; I hate it when I get my period because it is painful and disrupts my school work. I grudgingly went to the restroom to get a sanitary pad and to my utmost surprise, there was no blood.

Gosh!! My pantie was damn!! utterly!! freaking!! (Hehehe!!! Anymore emphatic words to help with my frustration? Hahaha!!) wet with my own wetness…..oh my word. Are you kidding me? I was busily using my scientific brains and my sexual brain decides to go on a field play in my pantie. It is normal for me to get wet just by talking to someone I really really like but this? The funniest part was at that point in my life I wasn’t dating or attracted to any guy. I’m only trying to tell us all, it gets to a time we don’t even have to think about sex but our bodies crave for it.

What do you do in such times? Regarding that particular scenario, I only cussed myself, laughed over it and got back to work. At other times I usually tell a friend and we do a pity party, laugh and move on. Most times you need a huge distraction. It is never easy to maintain chastity especially in this age but it is possible. As a Christian, I would like to talk about Grace. Bible scholars say Mary, the mother of Jesus was about 16 years when she was engaged to Joseph and I am assuming it was common for them to marry that young. I’m pretty much certain that Joseph was also a young man. I sometimes read the Bible and say to myself that well it was easy for those guys to obey the law but me? I’m not 16 years but 16×2 so God should understand.

Then I remember God’s words is constant and in those days there was no Grace either; they were under the Law not under Grace. Now we have Grace so the bigger battles we face, we can fight with Grace. I’m sure the Grace in grandmother’s days is less than the Grace I have now, because promiscuity and sin is increasing by day. I believe as iniquity abounds daily, so does the Grace God bestows unto us to fight sin and temptations increases.

OK so to what I really wanna talk about today……oh! Yeah that long talk was nothing (I know you just said: Really?)……..hahaha!!!
Certain versions of the Bible uses the word “KNOW” to describe sexual intercourse between a married couple and for all others, it uses “LAID/LAY/LIE”.

TO KNOW means to have direct cognition, to grasp in the mind, to have understanding, to apprehend clearly with certainty, etc….
TO LAY is to put or set down, put in a horizontal position or position of rest, to set to sleep, etc….
So these are raw dictionary definitions and I don’t think I need to analyze it for anyone to see the differences. They are 2 vast words and linking their normal definitions to sexual intercourse?????……hmmm! The least said the better. If I decide to do more research and dissect these 2 words and relate it to sex, many will be offended and I will get more enemies so enough said. Hahahaha!!!!

You can decide to be KNOWN by your lawful spouse when you MAKE LOVE or just be LAID with by anyone else when you HAVE SEX. It is all a choice. Choosing to be KNOWN is a much difficult choice but doable by GRACE.

I choose to be KNOWN and God has helped me so far though I haven’t been perfect or absolute. No matter how far you have gone, you can make a decision today to stop getting LAID, through RAW SEX with random people who may never share your entire life with you; and rather be KNOWN, at the right time, by the right person who will be there till death; through PASSIONATE and AWESOME LOVEMAKING.



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